


Get Together (Or So Help Me!)

by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)



Series: Adara Birthday Celebration [29]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Laura Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Derek Hale Loves Stiles Stilinski, Don’t copy to another site, Established Relationship, Good Alpha Laura Hale, Idiots in Love, Laura Hale Lives, M/M, Matchmaker Laura Hale, Mates, Stiles Stilinski Loves Derek Hale, Werewolf Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-29 15:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17206001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasterella/pseuds/isthatbloodonhisshirt
Summary: “You know this is just going to have them fighting the whole time, right?” Lydia asked while Laura finished setting up the board for pack night.“Their bickering will have them realize their love for each other.”“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said,” Lydia informed her.Laura knew it was a stretch, but she was on plan F right now. Plans A through E had all failed, and she was running out of ideas. She only had up to L, and after that, well... maybe after that, she’d bring in the big guns.She just didn’twantto bring in the big guns yet. She wanted to try and make them realize this on their own! But they were both stupid idiots and it wasdriving her crazy!





	Get Together (Or So Help Me!)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adara/gifts).



> Happy Birthday [Adara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adara/pseuds/adara)!!!
> 
> I had WAY too much fun with this one.
> 
> Teen Wolf (c) Jeff Davis

When Laura and Derek had come back to Beacon Hills and met that weird, quirky, gangly human that was Stiles Stilinski, Laura knew immediately that if her brother ever dated anyone again in his entire life, it would be him.

She didn’t know _how_  she knew it, she just did. Add in the fact that his friend had been turned by a rogue Alpha, he was smart, he was loyal, he was _brave_ , not to mention he had enough sass to give Derek a run for his money, and it was only logical they should be together.

And as the years passed, with the pack growing, and their friendship continuing to evolve, Laura was positive they would move in that direction. She and Scott actually had a bet going about it.

They were _always_  together, they hung out on weekends, Derek used to go to Stiles’ Lacrosse games, they did research together and went out for food. Hell, they even _smelled_  like each other, it was kind of nauseating.

At first Laura had assumed maybe Derek was holding off because of their ages. After all, Stiles was sixteen when they’d all met, and Derek had _just_  turned nineteen. Not a huge gap, but still a bit uncomfortable given Stiles was a minor and Derek wasn’t. So the day of Stiles’ eighteenth birthday, Laura and Scott had made bets on how long before they became an item.

Then Stiles turned nineteen.

Then he turned twenty.

And then Stiles was twenty-one, and Derek was twenty-four, and this age gap was _perfectly_  acceptable, but they _still_  weren’t dating. It was actually annoying. Laura _knew_  Derek would be happy with Stiles, they were so compatible, but they spent a majority of their time together bitching at each other.

Actually, that only further reinforced her belief they were a match made in heaven. They bickered like an old married couple. Laura had heard a lot about mates when she was younger. Her mother insisted that when a wolf met its mate, sometimes it didn’t realize it. Sometimes it thought that annoying piece of shit was just _annoying_  and didn’t realize the reactions were actually because the wolf loved their mate so much they couldn’t handle it.

She was _convinced_  Stiles was Derek’s mate, and she knew she was right. Everyone could see it, the whole pack was rooting for them to get together. And Laura had to do something. She had to put her foot down and make them realize they were in love and that was what all the bickering was about.

So now, on the day of Stiles’ twenty-second birthday, she was going to do something about it. This day, as she stood singing happy birthday, and watched Derek’s expression soften, and the way Stiles shoved cake into Derek’s face, she knew this was it.

She’d hit her limit.

Time for big sister to intervene.

* * *

Laura smiled brightly and waved one hand from her spot at the back of the small coffeeshop, practically bouncing in her seat as Stiles approached with a huge smile and flushed cheeks. It was warm out, and she knew Stiles was easily burned, so he’d likely been spending too much time out in the sun.

“Hey Laura,” Stiles said, falling into the seat across from her and wiping sweat off his forehead. “How’s it going?

“Great! Awesome!” She folded her hands together, eying his appearance. He looked good. Not as good as she’d been hoping, given her plans, but it would do. His hair was all dishevelled and wind-blown, he was wearing one of his better shirts, and the heat was making him almost glow.

Stiles really _was_  very attractive, she was just lucky Lydia hadn’t opened her eyes and decided she wanted in on that. Thankfully she was busy with Parrish, but still. It was such a close call.

“I’m really excited for the movie,” he said, drumming his hands on the table lightly. “Are we catching dinner beforehand? Or after? Just trying to figure out my food situation, if I should get popcorn or not.”

“Yeah, about that,” Laura said, trying to stop herself from smiling but unable to hold it in entirely. “See, here’s the thing, I can’t go.”

“You can’t?” Stiles looked so adorably sad that Laura wanted to pinch his cheeks. God, this kid! He was so stinkin’ _cute_!

She wanted him as a brother-in-law. If things fell through with Derek, whatever, she’d make him date Cora. It didn’t matter that Cora was dating someone right now, the guy was just a placeholder until someone more serious came along, and by God, Laura would make that guy Stiles if Derek didn’t open his stupid eyes.

“Hey.” Derek stopped beside the table, as if summoned by her thoughts.

Well, mostly her phone, since she’d texted him.

“Derek!” She threw both arms in the air. “Perfect timing. I need a favour.”

“This can’t be good,” Derek said with a sigh, glancing at Stiles. “Laura, why’re you here with this loser?”

“She has taste,” Stiles retorted. “What’d you do, mug Clark Kent? What’s with that outfit?”

“I like this shirt,” Derek insisted. “And you’re not one to talk, you always walk around dressed like a farmer who got lost on his way to the country.”

“Yeah, because farmers always wear Captain America shirts.”

God, if they were any _more_  in love, Laura would start barfing rainbows.

“So,” she said loudly before they started going off on each other. She’d seen them go at it multiple times, they could continue for hours. “I can’t make my dinner/movie date with Stiles, but I already made the reservation, and I paid for the tickets, and I just thought you could step in for me. I mean, you’re free tonight, I can give you cash for the dinner, you’d be getting a free meal _and_  a free movie out of it.”

Derek eyed her suspiciously, and she wondered if maybe he knew what she was playing at. The good thing about growing up with Derek was she knew _exactly_  how to hide all her chemosignals so he couldn’t pick anything up.

“What movie?” he asked after a short silence.

“ _Instant Family_.”

“Hard pass.” Derek turned to leave but Laura jumped out of her seat and grabbed at his arm, dragging him back and shoving him into her vacated chair.

“Derek, I _promised_  Stiles I’d go with him, and it’s the last day it’s in theatres. I would go, honest, but something came up and I can’t make it. Be nice.”

“I hate comedies, they’re stupid.”

“ _You’re_  stupid,” Stiles said automatically.

“Real mature,” Derek said dryly. Stiles just grinned and waggled his eyebrows. Derek rolled his eyes, sighed explosively, then turned to Laura. “One condition. You’re out of the house _all day_ next Saturday.”

Laura frowned. “Why?”

“Because it’s our anniversary and I plan on fucking Stiles until he can’t walk.”

Yeah right, Laura wished.

“Fine, don’t tell me.” She turned her nose up at him. “Deal. I will be out of the house for whatever you plan on doing that day. But if I come home to a massive rager I wasn’t invited to, there will be blood.”

“Derek doesn’t have enough friends for a rager,” Stiles insisted.

“Go suck a horse’s dick, Stilinski.”

Stiles scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself, your dick’s not _that_  big.”

Laura was literally going to explode. They needed to fuck and be in love and all gross and PDA _right now_ , it was driving her _crazy_!

“It’s settled then! Here’s the tickets, here’s the money, have fun, I’ll see you later, okay bye!” She shoved everything at Derek then hurried out of the coffeeshop, grinning to herself and pulling her phone out, texting the group chat.

It was very discreetly called ‘Operation Stiles and Derek need to Fuck’ and included herself, Cora, Scott, Lydia, Allison, Boyd, Isaac, Erica and, despite her not wanting to include him, Jackson. So basically, the whole pack barring Stiles and Derek.

That was another group chat entitled ‘Shit’s Hitting the Fan and No One is Surprised’ because really, shit hit the fan in Beacon Hills all the time.

**[Laura]**  
ok, they’re going to the movie and dinner

**[Lydia]**  
This isn’t going to work.  
**[Lydia]**  
They go to dinner and movies all the time.  
**[Lydia]**  
They’re just going to sit there and be stupid together, like they always are.

**[Erica]**  
i still think we should go the sex pollen route  
**[Erica]**  
i still talk to that fae from uni she could def hook us up

**[Lydia]**  
We want them to get together, not facilitate non-consensual sex acts -.-

**[Erica]**  
what??? theyre practically dating already! they just need a little shove

**[Boyd]**  
Babe, no one is going to take you up on your sex pollen  
**[Boyd]**  
I think the movie/date thing is a good idea.  
**[Boyd]**  
Let’s see how that plays out.

Laura grinned and put her phone away, rubbing her hands together. This was going to work. It was _so_  going to work. Yes, they went out all the time, but this was _different_. This was one of those couples movies that maybe the two idiots would realize reflected them a little bit. And the restaurant was super coupley, all the desserts were shared, and the setup was in such a way that the boys would be pressed together and it was _perfect_!

She practically skipped all the way back to her car, driving home and then lounging around in the living room of the restored Hale house watching TV. She got bored eventually, mostly because she was _so excited_  about the boys, and ended up playing puzzle games on her phone.

She made dinner, keeping an eye on the time, and was pleased with how long this was going. Maybe they were making out in the back of the Jeep _right now_! Maybe they’d finally realized their feelings for each other, this was _perfect_!

When Derek came home at half-past eight, Laura practically flew from the living room to the entrance, eyes wide and expecting good news. Instead, she just frowned and looked him up and down.

“Why are you wet?”

“Stiles and I broke into the school to go skinny dipping in the pool.” Derek grinned. “Funnily enough, we bumped into Cora, who’d had the same idea, but we beat her there so she went somewhere else.”

“Why the hell were you guys skinny dipping?” That _had_  to be a lie, but Derek wasn’t really the kind of person to lie.

“I don’t know, we thought it’d be fun.” He headed up the stairs, then turned halfway up and continued backwards, pointing his finger at her. “Don’t forget, next Saturday, you’re gone all day. Cora’s gonna be in San Fran with her friends, so it’s just you I need gone.”

“Seriously, _why_  do you need the house all day?”

“I told you, to fuck Stiles unconscious.” Derek turned to finish heading up the stairs and Laura rolled her eyes.

Whatever, she didn’t care what Derek did as long as he didn’t destroy the house.

Sighing, she pulled her phone out and opened the group chat.

**[Laura]**  
Operation failed.

**[Lydia]**  
Told you.

**[Erica]**  
srsly i can get sex pollen

**[Lydia]**  
NO ONE WANTS YOUR WEIRD SEX POLLEN, ERICA!

**[Erica]**  
YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SEX POLLEN!

Laura sighed and put her phone away, ignoring the constant dinging that suggested Lydia and Erica were arguing about sex pollen.

Well, she still had more up her sleeve. Time for plan B.

* * *

“You know this is just going to have them fighting the whole time, right?” Lydia asked while Laura finished setting up the board for pack night.

“Their bickering will have them realize their love for each other.”

“That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said,” Lydia informed her.

Laura knew it was a stretch, but she was on plan F right now. Plans A through E had all failed, and she was running out of ideas. She only had up to L, and after that, well... maybe after that, she’d bring in the big guns.

She just didn’t _want_ to bring in the big guns yet. She wanted to try and make them realize this on their own! But they were both stupid idiots and it was _driving her crazy_!

So, she’d called a mandatory pack night. Derek was upstairs doing God knew what in his room—probably jerking off, like a weirdo, gross—and the rest of the pack was slowly arriving. Laura had decided on Monopoly. It was a game that could go on for hours, and was sure to have Derek and Stiles bickering like the married couple they were.

It was perfect.

Sure, the rest of the pack would probably hate her, because Monopoly brought out the worst in everyone—kind of like  _Mario Kart_ —but at least it would get the two morons together.

Hopefully.

Derek came down the stairs while Cora and Allison were bringing snacks in from the kitchen, chatting away. Scott was helping Laura set up all the pillows and Derek just moved into the living room and stood by the wall with his arms crossed, making no move to help anyone.

“Where’s Stiles?” Scott asked him, likely assuming Derek and Stiles had been texting, since they often did.

“Probably dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“I heard that!” Stiles called from the entrance, the front door slamming a second later.

When Stiles walked into the living room, he paused for a second, then did a running leap at Derek. He barely had time to uncross his arms and catch Stiles before he just sent them both on their asses. Stiles grinned while Derek held him up, both hands under his ass and Stiles’ arms and legs wrapped around him.

“Nice catch.”

“You’re heavy.”

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later.”

Scott turned to Laura, who gave him a constipated look because _God dammit_ , just fucking _kiss_  already!

Derek carried Stiles around the room to the couch before dropping him unceremoniously onto it. He climbed over the back, sat beside Stiles, and then proceeded to try and crush him into the side of the couch. Stiles threatened to punch him in the dick, and Derek very stupidly insisted that would only be if Stiles could find it.

Which of course, meant Stiles started going off on how Derek had a tiny dick, and Derek proceeded to try and suffocate Stiles with one of the pillows.

“You two are disgusting,” Jackson informed them from his spot on the opposite couch. “I feel like I’m losing braincells being in the same town as you.”

“You can always move,” Derek offered. “I’ll help you pack.”

“Cute, Hale.”

“Hey,” Laura insisted. “This is pack bonding. Everyone behave.”

“Yes mother,” Stiles teased. She turned to glare at him and he grinned impishly, then let out a splutter when Derek hit him in the face with a pillow again.

Laura rolled her eyes, prayed for patience, and then started off the game. They were in teams of two, which she chose because obviously, she had to get Stiles and Derek on the same team. As predicted, they started off bickering immediately. Derek kept wanting to spend all their money and Stiles insisted they were going to lose and be poor.

They were the first ones to go bankrupt and Stiles punched repeatedly at Derek’s arm, insisting it was all his fault. Derek leaned closer and breathed that he could make it up to him right in his ear, and Stiles immediately grabbed him by the arm and yanked him out of the room.

“Maybe they’re going to have sex somewhere?” Erica asked hopefully.

“Doubt it, Derek got the new _Super Smash Brothers_ , they’re probably going to go play that,” Laura said absently, staring at the board in thought.

Sure enough, she could hear the music starting up from Derek’s room and she sighed, whining and resting her forehead on Cora’s shoulder. Cora just patted her head comfortingly.

“What if we just like... _told_  them?” Isaac asked. “I mean, even _they_  have to see how good they are for each other.”

“Derek’s too stubborn,” Laura whined.

“Stiles is too self-deprecating,” Scott added.

“We could always try the—”

“Babe,” Boyd insisted, wrapping an arm around Erica’s shoulders and kissing her temple. “Let it go.”

Plan F was a bust. On to Plan G.

When the rest of the pack left, and Laura and Cora headed up for bed, Laura realized that Stiles was still in Derek’s room, the door shut and the start-up music for the game still playing. She frowned, wondering if maybe they’d changed their minds on the game, but didn’t dwell on it and just headed for her room.

She was annoyed to realize Derek really _had_  been jerking off earlier, because the second floor smelled heavily of sex. _Not_  something she wanted to be smelling about her brother. Maybe it was time for him and Cora to move out.

* * *

“Why am I here again?” Stiles demanded, half-whining. “You know I’m gonna get nightmares.”

“If this gives you nightmares but what we go through on a daily basis doesn’t, there’s a problem,” Laura informed him, sitting down on the armchair and crossing her legs over each other, bowl of popcorn in her lap.

This was now plan L. The last plan she had before she would have to give up and call in the big guns. She was hoping this would be the last one. Maybe this time, it would work.

After all, they’d all watched horror movies together a lot, and Stiles _always_  curled into Derek, buried his face in his neck, tried to crawl into his lap. After all the other plans leading up to this one, _surely_  they would realize how gone for each other they were by now.

She’d set it up perfectly.

Stiles and Derek were together on the couch, she was in one armchair and Cora was in the other. They’d chosen the scariest movie of the year, had turned off all the lights, and left a blanket on the edge of the couch since they knew Stiles would eventually hide under it.

And he was already leaning into Derek, preemptively scared because he hated horror movies. Derek had one arm wrapped around his shoulders, and had already called him a wide variation of “scaredy cat” that had Stiles repeatedly punching him in the thigh.

Cora gave Laura a discreet thumbs up and Laura nodded, then started the movie.

As predicted, Stiles was terrified within the first five minutes, and nothing had even happened yet. Laura would’ve felt bad about it, except Stiles always spent the night after horror movies, and he was so ADHD that he usually forgot all about the plots within a few nights. The one and only advantage to ADHD, apparently.

Stiles pulled the blanket over himself and Derek, bringing it up over his nose so only his eyes were visible. He was leaning into Derek so much that Derek was actually tilting into the side of the couch.

As the movie progressed, Stiles buried his face in Derek’s chest. Derek himself just laughed and rubbed at Stiles’ back while they continued to watch the movie.

“Seriously, how is this scary to you?” Derek demanded. “You’ve _seen_  ghosts! You helped us get rid of that one Poltergeist in that house on your block.”

“But those ghosts aren’t scary looking,” Stiles whined, and then disappeared entirely under the blanket. He had his head on Derek’s lap, the blanket having fallen down so it was pooled around Derek’s waist.

Derek just laughed again, but Laura and Cora shot each other a look. This was going well. Better than usual, anyway. Stiles didn’t normally bury his face in Derek’s lap.

“Why don’t you suck my dick while you’re down there, chicken little?” Derek asked teasingly, still rubbing soothingly at Stiles’ back.

“Careful, or I’ll bite it off.” Stiles’ muffled voice said.

After a few minutes, the blanket was shifted so that one eye could peek out, Stiles curled on his side with his head on Derek’s lap, and the blanket mostly covering his upper body and face barring the one eye.

He stayed like that for the remainder of the movie, Derek’s hand rubbing at his back the entire time. When it finally finished, Stiles pulled the blanket off himself and rolled onto his back, head still in Derek’s lap. Derek shifted his hand away from Stiles’ back, bringing the other up to run lightly through Stiles’ hair instead while looking down at him.

“I’m sleeping with you tonight.”

“Are you now?”

“Yes. Because if a ghost comes at me, I’m throwing you at it and jumping out the window.”

“Thanks Stiles.”

“No problem.” Stiles grinned, but it slowly slid off his face. “Seriously, I’m sleeping with you tonight.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Derek rolled his eyes, then motioned for Stiles to sit up. He did so, getting to his feet, and when Derek also stood up, Stiles jumped onto his back, wrapping his legs around Derek’s waist and his arms around his neck.

Derek just reached back to loop his arms around Stiles’ legs, rolling his eyes at his sisters, before bringing Stiles towards the stairs on his back piggy-back style.

“Maybe if you kissed him, he’d feel better!” Cora shouted after them.

“Ha ha, hilarious,” Stiles called back sarcastically.

Cora sagged and Laura let out a deep sigh.

“It was worth a shot,” Cora muttered.

“Yeah. I was really hopeful, this one looked promising.” She turned to watch the credits continue to roll, then pulled her phone out, sighing in defeat.

**[Laura]**  
i’m out of ideas  
**[Laura]**  
anyone else?  
**[Laura]**  
except erica

**[Allison]**  
I think it’s time to give up  
**[Allison]**  
If they wanted to be together they would be

**[Lydia]**  
If you followed that logic, you and Scott wouldn’t be together.  
**[Lydia]**  
Persistence is key.

**[Laura]**  
big guns?

**[Lydia]**  
It pains me to say it.  
**[Lydia]**  
But yes.  
**[Lydia]**  
Big guns.

**[Boyd]**  
Agreed.

**[Isaac]**  
good luck

Laura sighed, glancing over at Cora, who also had her phone out, following the conversation. She pressed her lips together, but nodded all the same.

Time for the big guns.

* * *

“This is a nice little place,” sheriff Stilinski said while taking a seat across from Laura at her favourite coffeeshop. “You know, I’ve lived here my whole life, but I’ve never come to this place.”

“Probably for the best, it doesn’t have anything you can eat without Stiles getting mad.” She smiled and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t try and cheat, now. I’m not gonna let you eat something unhealthy, Stiles will kill me.”

“Just coffee, I promise.” The sheriff held both hands up in surrender.

Laura smiled, then nodded and got to her feet, going to order them both some coffees. She brought them back to the table once they were ready, and sat down across from him, the sheriff taking a careful sip of his drink before setting it back down.

“So, what can I help you with?” he asked, folding his hands together. “While I love catching up with the Alpha of this territory,” he said, voice low so no one would overhear, “I don’t imagine you asked me to coffee for a social outing.”

“Sorry,” she said with a small wince. She figured she really _should_  go out with the sheriff more. And Melissa, too. They were both amazing people, who’d taken the whole Werewolf thing fairly well, considering. And they were always so helpful and _nice_. It would probably be a good idea to take them out a bit more often when something _wasn’t_  going wrong.

“Don’t apologize, you’ve got a busy life.” The sheriff smiled. “What’s been going on? How can I help?”

“Actually,” Laura said cautiously, because she had to be careful with how to move forward. “It’s about Stiles.”

The sheriff’s face hardened instantly, and she could already tell he was worried. Bad start. “What about Stiles? What happened?”

“No, nothing, he’s fine.” Laura waved one hand insistently. “He’s fine. It’s actually more about Stiles and Derek.”

“What about them?” He took a sip of his coffee. “They having problems again?”

Laura frowned. “Again?”

“You know how Derek gets.” The sheriff sighed, setting his cup down. “Every couple months he comes over, tries to insist he’s no good for Stiles, that Stiles is gonna get hurt. Gloomy guy, always thinking he’s not good enough for him. I think Stiles is ready to duct-tape his mouth shut.”

Laura wasn’t sure she understood what he was talking about. “What do you mean? Like... he wants to stop being friends with Stiles?” She’d never gotten that impression from him.

“I think if Derek had his way, he’d leave town and force Stiles to forget he exists. But I know he’d never do that to him. He loves him too much, and they’ve gotten over a lot of bumps along the way, so this is just another one they need to push through.”

What was he talking about? “I don’t follow.”

“You said Derek and Stiles, right?” The sheriff frowned, sipping at his coffee again. Laura wanted to snatch it out of his hand and shake him to speak faster. “As long as they haven’t broken up, it’ll be fine. They always talk through whatever issue they have, and they were fine last night. Though can you please remind Derek that just because I’m not a Werewolf doesn’t mean I don’t hear things just as clearly through the walls? I really don’t need to hear him defiling my son, he’s lucky I haven’t banned him from my house.”

Laura’s brain short-circuited at those words. What did he _mean_  Derek was defiling his son?! And why was he saying it so _casually_?!

She put both hands on the table, trying to wrap her head around what he’d just said. “Are you—I’m sorry, are Stiles and Derek having sex?”

“It’s weird I’m okay with it, right?” the sheriff sighed. “But I mean, it’s been two years, and I’ve walked in on them enough times that I think I’m just immune to it, now. Wish they’d be more discreet about it, but until they both move out and get their own place together, it’s something both of us are gonna have to put up with.” He motioned himself and Laura. “Guess we should just be glad we don’t have to worry about anyone getting pregnant.”

“Stiles and Derek?” Laura clarified. “They’re having sex?”

The sheriff paused in bringing his coffee to his lips, giving her a weird look. “Yes. Is something wrong?”

“You said two years,” Laura said instead of answering his question. “They’ve been—are they dating?”

“Of course they’re dating,” the sheriff said, looking confused. “They had their two year anniversary a few weeks ago. Stiles said Derek got you out of the house for the day and then I made him stop talking because he’s my son and there are some things I do _not_  need to know about what he and Derek get up to.”

Laura really didn’t know how to brain anymore. It felt like she’d just lost ten years off her life. “You knew about this? That they’ve... that they’re together?”

“Of course I knew.” He scoffed. “They’re not exactly subtle about it. Stiles told me the first day they became a thing. Honestly, I was surprised it took them so long, but I think they were waiting for him to be a little older. Bit more mature.” He laughed, picking his coffee up again. “Not that Stiles is ever going to be mature, but I guess they figured twenty was plenty old enough.”

“So they’re dating. They’re together. And they’ve been together for two years,” Laura said, all statements.

“Yes,” the sheriff said, sounding confused again. “I’m sorry, am I missing something?”

“Who knew about this?” Laura asked.

“About what?”

“Stiles and Derek?”

The sheriff puffed out his cheeks, a very Stiles-like thing to do, and thought for a moment. “I know Melissa knows, she called me once because they were having sex in public and I had to go drag my son home for being an idiot. Deaton knows, as well, I’m fairly sure. And Chris, of course, because we had a long discussion about what repercussions there would be if a Werewolf was dating a human which, thankfully, there are none.”

“But no one else?”

“Well, and you and the pack, of course. Scott, Allison, Cora.”

Laura didn’t know what her expression looked like, but it must’ve shown she had no idea they were dating because the sheriff suddenly seemed to realize why she was acting so weird and he jolted slightly, as if startled.

“You didn’t know.”

Laura slammed both hands on the table, making the sheriff jump and half the coffeshop turn to look at her. “I didn’t know!” she insisted loudly. “I’ve been trying to set them up for _years_! I spent the last three months trying to get them together because they are _perfect_ for each other! Are you telling me they’ve been together this _entire time_?!”

The sheriff stared at her for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing, shaking his head and picking up his coffee. “Laura, those two have been dancing around each other since the day they met. It was only a matter of time before it happened. I mean,” he lowered his voice, “couldn’t you _smell_  it? Stiles is over all the time.”

“I thought it was just Derek having a good time _before_  Stiles showed up!”

The sheriff laughed even harder, and most of the coffeeshop was staring at them. Laura didn’t care, because she couldn’t _believe_  Derek was dating Stiles and neither of them had _told_  anyone!

To be _completely_  fair, they really _weren’t_  subtle. They always hung off each other, they made crude jokes about each other’s genitals, and Derek had even flat-out said that he wanted the house to himself that one Saturday because he wanted to screw Stiles’ brains out.

_Laura had thought he was joking!_

“Thank you for this enlightening conversation,” Laura said, the sheriff still laughing, wiping tears from his eyes. “I need to go home and kill my brother now.”

“Don’t tell an officer of the law that you’re planning a murder.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Laura said, getting to her feet and grabbing her purse. “There won’t be enough of him left to pin on me.”

She left the coffeeshop while pulling out her phone, feeling her eyes beginning to bleed red.

**[Laura]**  
you are NOT going to BELIEVE what the big guns just told me  
**[Laura]**  
i am going to MURDER those two assholes!

* * *

Laura slammed the front door of the house much harder than she intended, and could hear the TV on in the living room. When she walked in, she found Derek sitting on the couch with a bag of Doritos, watching reruns of some old TV show.

He didn’t even look up when she walked in, which worked out perfectly for her, because she stormed over to the couch, moved up right behind Derek, and punched him hard across the back of the head.

“Ow!” Derek shouted, whipping around and rubbing at his head with his free hand, scowling at Laura. “What the hell?!”

Laura pointed her finger at him angrily. “You’re the worst brother,” she informed him, moving away from the couch and towards the stairs. “The worst. _Worst_!”

“What did I do?” Derek demanded.

“Worst! Brother!” Laura shouted behind herself while stomping up the stairs and disappearing into her room.

She was still up there fuming when the front door opened again an hour later. She felt _some_  satisfaction when she heard Derek let out another cry of pain.

“You are the _worst_  brother!” Cora snapped at him.

“What the hell is going on?!” Derek demanded helplessly.

“Worst! Brother!”

“Seriously, what did I do?!”

**END.**

**Author's Note:**

> Clark Kent (c) DC  
> Captain America (c) Marvel  
> Instant Family (c) Paramount  
> Mario Kart (c) Nintendo  
> Super Smash Brothers (c) Nintendo 
> 
> Come chill with me on [Tumblr](https://isthatbloodonhisshirt.tumblr.com/).  
> (If it still exists by the time you read this lol)


End file.
